I’m all for anti-bullying campaigns and teaching our children that bullying is not acceptable, but can we just step back for a minute and ask ourselves, “where do they learn these behaviours?” They don’t make this stuff up. They learn from us – the main people in their lives.
The moment I became a mother my whole life changed (obviously). In addition to all the extra emotions and joy and love, what I didn’t expect would change was how judged I felt. I have NEVER felt so judged as I have since becoming a mother. You know that mom shame that I’m talking about, right?
What really gets me, is online mom shaming. I’m not up with what the teens or younger generations are doing these days, but my generation, it’s terrible! I’ve been very conservative about what I share on my Facebook page because I don’t want to expose myself to that online mom shaming, but even me just feeling that way is ridiculous. We should be able to respectfully share our opinions without being ridiculed, but people can be so cruel in their comments. It really gets me when its moms doing it to each other. More than ever, this is the time in my life where I can ALWAYS use support from other moms, not feel ashamed or afraid of being ridiculed for how I parent. When our kids see us shaming other people, how can we possibly get mad when they are bullying other kids? I think we can all do better.
I couldn’t believe it when I heard about these online Facebook groups where people basically just cut other people down. I’m definitely not perfect, but there is no way I will join any of those groups. Whether you are posting negative things about other people, engaging in comments, or using it as your entertainment, it’s all bullying to me. Even when I see threads on the buy and sell or community groups I am in where people talk negatively about others in a public forum, I do not engage. If nobody engaged they wouldn’t exist. If only we used half of that energy to be kind to each other…
More than anything I want this blog to make people (especially mothers) feel accepted and inspired to be the best mothers they can be. That looks different for everyone, so don’t think that what I do will work for you, because it won’t. Our lives are different so let’s not compare each other, okay? My true friends inspire me to be a better mother and person and what we want for each other is happiness. I don’t ask my mom friends how they do things with their kids to judge them or to feel guilty. I ask because I’m curious, I want to learn, I want some new ideas, I want to be inspired. We should be helping each other because let’s face it, being a mother is HARD. No matter your situation, there are days that just suck.
There are days where I’ve yelled at my toddler and felt terrible about it, but in that moment I was trying, but I also needed a break. Something you can’t just get whenever you want, especially when you are single parenting. I’ve also had some of the best days of my life being a mother. Whatever kind of day you are having, just remember, we are all trying our best and you don’t know what kind of day your fellow moms are having so let’s just be kind, okay? Instead of judging that mom with the screaming child who wants a chocolate bar in the grocery store, can we just look at her and say something kind instead. Tell her it’s okay. Tell the child it’s okay or distract them by saying something nice. That could make or break their day.
You know those people in the checkout line up who make silly faces at your baby when they are fussing and it makes your baby stop? Yeah, I LOVE those people. If you’re one of those people – Thank you!
It’s a fact that our children learn from us. If we make fun of people, guess what, they will think that’s acceptable behaviour. If we ridicule, well guess what, they will too. So if we love, they will too. You get it. It’s true what they say, lead by example.
So to all my fellow mommas (myself included), let’s promise to help, support, inspire and encourage each other. Wouldn’t this whole parenting thing be even just a little bit easier with more love and kindness?
We’ve really been working on teaching kindness to our 3 year old daughter and I found a couple books super helpful, that she could related too. Check them out HERE.
What are your thoughts on mom shaming? Have you experienced it?
This post is NOT sponsored. The opinions and photos are of Sew Bright Creations’.
Want to collaborate? Email Jackie at firstname.lastname@example.org.