I’m all for anti-bullying campaigns and teaching our children that bullying is not acceptable, but can we just step back for a minute and ask ourselves, “where do they learn these behaviours?” They don’t make this stuff up. They learn from us – the main people in their lives.
The moment I became a mother my whole life changed (obviously). In addition to all the extra emotions and joy and love, what I didn’t expect would change was how judged I felt. I have NEVER felt so judged as I have since becoming a mother. You know that mom shame that I’m talking about, right?
What really gets me, is online mom shaming. I’m not up with what the teens or younger generations are doing these days, but my generation, it’s terrible! I’ve been very conservative about what I share on my Facebook page because I don’t want to expose myself to that online mom shaming, but even me just feeling that way is ridiculous. We should be able to respectfully share our opinions without being ridiculed, but people can be so cruel in their comments. It really gets me when it’s moms doing it to each other. More than ever, this is the time in my life where I can ALWAYS use support from other moms, not feel ashamed or afraid of being ridiculed for how I parent. When our kids see us shaming other people, how can we possibly get mad when they are bullying other kids? I think we can all do better.
I couldn’t believe it when I heard about these online Facebook groups where people basically just cut other people down. I’m definitely not perfect, but there is no way I will join any of those groups. Whether you are posting negative things about other people, engaging in comments, or using it as your entertainment, it’s all bullying to me. Even when I see threads on the buy and sell or community groups I am in where people talk negatively about others in a public forum, I do not engage. If nobody engaged they wouldn’t exist. If only we used half of that energy to be kind to each other…
More than anything, I want this blog to make people (especially mothers) feel accepted and inspired to be the best mothers they can be. That looks different for everyone, so don’t think that what I do will work for you, because it won’t. Our lives are different so let’s not compare each other, okay? My true friends inspire me to be a better mother and person and what we want for each other is happiness. I don’t ask my mom friends how they do things with their kids to judge them or to feel guilty. I ask because I’m curious, I want to learn, I want some new ideas, I want to be inspired. We should be helping each other because let’s face it, being a mother is HARD. No matter your situation, there are days that just suck.
You know those people in the checkout line up who make silly faces at your baby when they are fussing and it makes your baby stop? Yeah, I LOVE those people. If you’re one of those people – Thank you!
It’s a fact that our children learn from us. If we make fun of people, guess what, they will think that’s acceptable behaviour. If we ridicule, well guess what, they will too. So if we love, they will too. You get it. It’s true what they say, lead by example.
So to all my fellow mommas (myself included), let’s promise to help, support, inspire and encourage each other. Wouldn’t this whole parenting thing be even just a little bit easier with more love and kindness?
We’ve really been working on teaching kindness to our 3 year old daughter and I found a couple books super helpful, that she could relate too. Check them out HERE.
What are your thoughts on mom shaming? Have you experienced it?
This post is NOT sponsored. The opinions and photos are of Sew Bright Creations’.
Want to collaborate? Email Jackie at [email protected].
Yes to all of this. I have had my fair share of mom shaming directed at me too. One time I joined a fb group thinking it was for carseat safety where I could get some tips but it was just an excuse to shame moms to the end of the earth. It was truly horrifying. An other time I posted to a group about a babywearing question, but the thread became all about how my hair looked in the photo, and no joke, HUBDREDS of negative comments about it! Thanks for writing this post!
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. I’m so sorry to hear about your experiences. I can’t get over how terrible people can be, but I also don’t want to get sucked into it. They feed off us, so I say screw those haters, don’t give them the attention they want and kill them with kindness!
Thanks for stopping by.
I grew up with a lot of bullies in my life too, bullies at home, bullies at school, and bullies at work.. and after a while I noticed something about them. Bullies are really just weaklings trying to hide their own weaknesses by aggression. Bullies don”t understand their own emotions and so they bully because they are weak and feel threatened by anyone who seem to have it together and they want to bring anyone who seem stronger than them down to their level. Be proud you”re not weak like they are, it takes a lot of strength and courage to be kind and this world is so full of ignorant weaklings. If you can and as long as they don”t touch you, ignore and avoid them like the pests they are because their words have no meaning, they don”t know you, they just want to hurt you. Concentrate on improving yourself and don”t waste your attentions on them because that”s what they want. Bullies want attention and they want your reactions, once you stop giving that to them, they lose interest. I stopped wasting my attention and energy on negative people like bullies, they are energy vampires and they will exhaust you if you let them get to you. When you know your priorities, you can stop giving a sh*t and mentally block anyone who isn”t your friend off and anything they say is as good as your neighbor”s barking dog. Prioritize yourself and everything else is irrelevant.
I couldn’t agree more! I also believe bullies are insecure and they are searching for attention. It is my goal to not give them that! You are totally right in that our energy is much better spent working on ourselves and the positive people in our lives! I am sorry to hear about your bullying experiences but I’m so glad you’re able to turn this around and move forward! Keep it up!